Energy is Everything: Learning to honour the Ebb & Flow of my Energy
Hello, my name is Yinki and I am a Projector under the Human Design scope. The more research that I've done into this type is learning that as a Projector I don’t have a consistent access to the energy that allows me to work. This has honestly messed with my head, because it sounds like such a cop out and contradicts so much of the cultural values that have been installed in me since I was young (and hello Asian/Cantonese values, especially growing up in the never ending pace and grind that is Hong Kong). However, I’ve also come to realize a vital truth that I had been denying all this time - the truth of honouring my energy. When I talk about energy, I mean flow, vitality and power. My energy comes and goes in ebbs and flows. Nevertheless as a Projector by design, I am the epitome of “working smart, not just hard” - so what it might take others to get done in a longer span of time, I sit down, bang it out, and close shop.
Nevertheless, trying to work with my sporadic ebb and flow of energy has been frustrating today's capitalist society, where hard work, hustling and pushing are the virtues of many. Yet, I know that when I push myself too hard - this always leads to extreme burnout and deep deep exhaustion. Furthermore, this process burns my Sacral energy out even further, and I endanger myself by staying depleted instead of allowing my energy to recuperate more efficiently. I am in this process of learning how to honour my energy, de-conditioning these beliefs that hold me back, and radically accepting this different pace. This reminds me of what Gloria Steinem said, which is: “The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.”
I truly believe that by accepting my energy flow, I become more confident and certain in what gives me energy or what drains my energy. I end up not wasting time doing things that deplete my energy, instead I outsource what I need. I'm inspired after reading the Almanack of Naval Ravikant, who is the CEO and co-founder of AngelList (amongst many other pursuits). I’m taking a page from his book, and embodying how he structures his mindset. He doesn't waste time on things that don't expand his personal growth, that don't make money or do not contribute to sacred time with loved ones. It might seem that money is one of the most precious assets, but actually it’s the long term time and effort that you put into either a relationship, a job, or person or yourself that actually matters the most. In other words, the importance of compound interest, aka what and how much energy you invest. The times that I have birthed incredible creations and projects have been because of these sporadic bursts of energy, and because I took time off to replenish and rejuvenate. Instead of applying unceremonious effort, I allowed greatness, willpower and passion to flow through.
In true Projector fashion, I’ve been learning to move through the initial bitterness and anger that arise. I sometimes wish I had steady stream of energy that allows me to seamlessly bring my visions to life. However, this isn’t the case, and the best thing that I can do is to honour this way of being, my special way of being. Additionally, I recognise the gift of having these visions in the first place, and being capable of envisioning a better and more optimal way of life. Ultimately, by accepting this, I simultaneously honour my body wisdom. Even Einstein has said, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.” Learning this has been freeing because it affirms how crucial energy management is. I can further expand into my truth while not having to conform to what society tosses around as “the norm.”
I am on the path of embodying that energy is everything, and I appreciate all the beautiful opportunities for creation (like writing this entry here!) and parts of myself I feel charged to express. I hope that by sharing my experience I can relay the message to fellow Projectors or those who find it hard to turn on and off their productivity that you’re not alone! If you’re a spiritual queen like me who still has trouble from time to time embodying this - remember that Einstein said so!
