Spiritual Asian Woman meditating in Bali

Ahh the feelings of loneliness can be so palpable. For me, it can feel like such a gut punch of rejection from everyone and everything in my environment.

Whether we like it or not, every person has a deeply personal relationship with loneliness. This intensely painful and harrowing experience can impact our overall well-being, and hinder our relationships and opportunities

I have personally struggled with intense loneliness. The moments when I felt so lost and alone as if I were wandering through a field of never-ending forest. I actually experienced this when I attended college in rural Massachusetts (I loved my college experience overall though! Mostly in hindsight). I’d go running in the woods, find a patch of grass and release my abyss of tears.

Throughout my journey, I searched high and low for the “remedy.” The many nights of clinging onto different relationships to feel validated, and numbing my pain with tv shows to rid the feeling of being alone (huge shoutout to Friends! Although looking back unfortunately this fave is problematic :(

Nonetheless, experiencing mental health struggles, feeling like a bulldozer and pushing throughout - including school, jobs, and understanding my dysfunctional family dynamics was the source of this journey to understand why I felt the strong pangs of loneliness.

And now I know that the real remedy is going within.

Through going within, I embarked on a journey of diving deep into my spiritual practices. They’ve helped me move through loneliness and develop a strong relationship with myself. In turn, I actually appreciate being alone more now!

Read on to learn how I moved through the fear of loneliness:

Beginning my Meditation & Mindfulness Journey

Loneliness often stems from a disconnection with ourselves. I began my journey of turning inwards by embracing mindfulness and self-reflection. My meditation practices ranged from practising Buddhist-taught mindfulness, body scans, transcendental meditation, mantra meditation, and breath awareness.

Through meditation, I learned to take a step back to observe my thoughts and emotions without judgment. This has allowed me to develop a deeper understanding of myself. Meditation has helped me identify the roots of where my loneliness stemmed from. Through practising awareness of my thought and emotions, I’m able to recognise patterns that perpetuated them. I love practising seeing my thoughts and emotions are clouds of different shapes and sizes, and my mind is the vast blue sky. This helps me to acknowledge the transcience of my emotions and thoughts. By being fully present in the moment and cultivating self-awareness, I gained clarity and a greater sense of self-acceptance.

Nurturing a Relationship with the Divine:

Loneliness can create a void that cannot be filled solely by human connections. I discovered solace and comfort in nurturing a relationship with the divine. I attended a catholic primary school which I didn’t have a favourable memory of - so my relationship with let’s call it ‘that which is greater’ has been patchy. Yet when I started to see universal blessings in my life and started to bring in more optimism and trust. I realised how strong my connection with the divine is. And the more I cultivated this relationship, the more I’m able to release this sense of separation I felt with myself and others. Whether through my morning rituals, meditation, or engaging in spiritual practices, I found a sense of connection and guidance. This connection gave me a deep sense of belonging and reassurance that I was never alone.

Seeking like-hearted Community and Support:

I chose to use the word like-hearted instead of like-minded because I believe that the openness of our heart-space helps us finds to find our way to each other. While spirituality is often a deeply personal journey, finding like-minded individuals and supportive communities can be immensely valuable. I actively sought out spiritual communities, retreats, and workshops where I could connect with others on a similar path. Sharing experiences, insights, and struggles with individuals who understood my journey helped me know that we’re all on this path together and that we all also struggle with loneliness.

Cultivating Gratitude and Appreciation:

Loneliness can be so consuming that it robs us of realising the abundance we have. When I started to make practising gratitude and appreciation a daily ritual and habit, my conscious effort was to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the simple joys and blessings. Each day, I started writing in my gratitude journal and noted down the key people, events & sources of nurturing (even something as “trivial” as a roof over my head, or my super cosy organic cotton bed sheets) that I’m incredibly grateful for. This practice shifted my focus from lack to abundance. It’s easier to release thoughts of scarcity, and really appreciate the resources I have already. It’s so common to look to the next big thing or things that are better, but I find that this has muddled me further instead of being present with what I already have! I’m able to create a deep sense of contentment and connection with the world around me. Gratitude became a daily reminder of the beauty and blessings that exist in my life.

Giving value to Others with Compassion:

Overcoming loneliness involved shifting my focus from self to others. Engaging in acts of compassion and service provided me with a sense of purpose beyond myself. I volunteered for causes I cared about, extended a helping hand to those in need, and actively listened to others' struggles. By connecting with and supporting others, I discovered the profound joy and fulfilment that comes from selfless acts of kindness. It created a sense of interconnectedness and reminded me of how we are all connected in our human experiences.

Learning my Human Design Type

This has been a major game changer because when I realised what being a Projector means, I felt like I could really indulge in the Joy of Missing Out, and release the Fear of Missing Out. Why? Because as a Projector, I learned that I am a non-energy type. This means that I readily take in and reflect energy from others. Learning this was an AHA moment because it makes sense that all my life, I felt the influence of other people’s energies very heavily, almost like a wave taking over my body (or specifically my energy centres). In Human Design, we talk about the concept of conditioning a lot, which is the specific programming (beliefs, pressures and fears) that are taught to us by the people around us, including friends, family, peers, and societal structures. It explains why being alone felt very alienating to me because I was used to always feeling the effects of other people’s energy around me. Yet now with this awareness, I can release the need for external validation or consoling because I know that the more I spend time with myself, the more I can see my true self and release others’ energies. Learning my Human Design has been a powerful and life-changing AHA era (not even just a moment!)

My journey to overcoming loneliness through spiritual practices has been transformative. By embracing mindfulness, nurturing a relationship with the divine, seeking community, cultivating gratitude, serving others with compassion, and figuring out my Human Design, I’ve been able to navigate the pangs of loneliness and find deep self-love, connection, and inner peace.

While loneliness still pops up from time to time, I now have the awareness & inner resources to face it with resilience! I know that my time with myself is meaningful, and I don’t have the need to prove myself to others out of fear. I’ve been able to make the shift from feeling lonely to enjoying being alone.

These practices provided me with the tools to understand myself better, embrace my spirituality, and develop more meaningful connections with others.

LEARN ABOUT YOUR HUMAN DESIGN:

If you want to know more about your Human Design and learn how to make the transformation to loving your alone time too, click on the button below to book my signature Human Design Reading “Your Soul Strategy & Foundations”. And if you’re craving more information about the reading, click HERE!