Failure Takes Courage!

Exhibit A: Images of me learning how to wakesurf - falling, falling, and falling

It’s so easy to feel like we’re failing or falling behind often. If you’re going through this, I completely resonate and understand. Even as I’ve started and been running my business, it’s a completely new space for me and it hasn’t been easy! As an Aries, I love starting things but have trouble operating and sustaining them. This felt true when I had to close up the Sound Healing space I was running. I have grand visions but struggle with executing often, especially when I fall short of certain goals I’ve set. Yet instead of allowing myself to be defined by failure, I lean further into it instead.

What do you mean? Leaning further into failure?

Let me explain:

We live in an age where society at large is obsessed with success. It’s easy to look around and see what other people are doing instead of focusing on ourselves. It’s so understandable as we’ve been primed to achieve in today’s current climate.

As a Projector in Human Design, not being recognised feeds deeply into my not-self of bitterness. I can even hark back all the way to high school, to an example of when I championed a school-wide project to remove the sale of plastic water bottles. I spent my entire senior year/ year 13 (hello international school friends!) putting in so much time and energy meeting with various administrative figures, talking to vendors, and creating a reusable water bottle design that would replace the plastic water bottles. Even making appointments with the headmaster/ school principal weekly to make this happen.

Then one day, the policy changed.

The school decided to ban plastic water bottles. Yay! Right? Well... I wasn’t credited. The proposals, reports, and plans I toiled over in addition to preparing myself for the IB went in vain.

To make matters worse, during our end of year assembly when awards were handed out to respective students, someone else received the Community Service Award. Someone who I felt didn’t create initiatives as I did. My bitterness was out of control.

And in many aspects, it still is.

But I believe that by being honest now and sharing this story, I am brave enough to write this. To tell my story.

What we hide away continues to fester.

What we bring to light is the first step in transmuting it.

Instead of allowing failure to define me, I lean into it further by accepting that failure is an inevitable part of life. I accept and embrace that it’s truly how we learn, grow, and develop new skills. If you have a goal or vision that matters a lot to you, it’s better to try and not succeed better than not take that first step at all.

Yes, the fear of failure can feel incredibly paralyzing! I completely understand it. It’s easier said than done to give yourself space to fail. Society often perceives failure as a negative and shameful experience. Know that failure doesn’t single you out, you’re actually in the company of many amazing people. Take RuPaul, the extraordinary Drag Queen who paved the way for Drag Queens to take centre stage. They’ve admitted that they’ve failed more times than they’ve succeeded. Take Thomas Edison, the inventor of the lightbulb. The reality is that it took failing to finally invent the lightbulb - it took him 2774 times to be exact! 2774 times!

I invite you to reframe failure today. Do it for you! Reframe failure as an opportunity for growth and learning. You can only learn by doing, and as the brilliant Michael Bernard Beckwith explains in Life Visioning Purpose, you can only understand how the water feels by immersing yourself in it, not by reading about the texture of water. This is the moment we invite grace.

The biggest question is: what is the fear of failing costing you down the line instead? Anything worthwhile involves risk. Instead of allowing fear to stop you, I invite you to give yourself permission to fail instead.

When we give ourselves permission to fail, we free ourselves more deeply! We can take more risks and experiment. Failure is not a dead-end but actually shows us the ways we can u-turn, zig-zag, and keep going even if the road is bumpy and might be littered with potholes. See failure as a stepping stone on the path to success. Failure is trial and error in disguise.

How do I feel so assured about this? Because now that I know my Human Design Chart, I am confident that trial and error is part of my process because of my 3/5 Profile. In Human Design, a profile is a combination of two numbers that provide insight into your life path, personality traits, and how you interact with others. The profile is determined by the positions of the Sun and Earth at the time of your birth.

I am so free. Because I know I’m not defined by my failures, and learning that has opened up a world of authentic joy and warm expansiveness.

How do I actually give myself the space to fail without it hitting so hard?

Know that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the process
Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them - this is indicative of a growth mindset.
Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage experimentation and risk-taking.
Bathe in your own self-compassion

I felt it was so apt to share my wakesurfing process and photos because the reality is it took me so many times to finally just stand up on the board. Falling was painful and tedious- all the water whiplashing against my bum :( But it was so worth because the more times I got in the water and kept getting back up, I finally made it! And it’s not about the making it on the board, but looking back and finding joy in the process. Look at the photos of me falling, it brings me so much joy to see but also celebrate how far I’ve come.

Remember, failure doesn’t define you. Rather, allow yourself to use failure to redefine your path. It takes courage to try something you’ve never done before, and you are illuminating your own path and stepping into your true life purpose. Why? Because at the end of the day, you’re choosing courage over comfort. Truly, there’s no failure, just redirection, growth & learning.