How Atomic Habits Can Change Your Life

Habits - What does that word mean to you?
How do you feel when you read or hear that word?

Growing up, I was constantly told “You need good habits!”

Can you guess what my first perception of habits was?

A burden.

While at school, the way I received education was through spoon-feeding, aka what I was told, I did. Even when I was taught critical thinking and creativity, ironically, there was always a prescribed way. I can talk more about how academia is broken, but that’ll come in another piece of writing.

This context is important because it illustrates the conditionings I’d received since I was young, and how I approached productivity and habits from that point onwards. As I’ve learned at this stage of my life (through reading and lived experience), how you do the little things are also an indicator of how do you the big things.

How I spent a large part of my adolescent life consisted of doing things (homework, chores, extracurricular activities, and even playgroups and social events) because I had to. I felt that if I didn’t do those things I was told of, my life would end. It was a way of survival. There was no other way. I did those things because they were obligations. Not because I really wanted to, but because they were a means to an end. A promised “light at the end of the tunnel” kind of end.

While this sustained me for 20+ years of my life, it all crashed. Eventually, it wasn’t actually sustainable. I believed that if I committed to doing those things, I would be promised this golden key of life. That I would hit success and it would all be amazing. Then, I could finally breathe.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

And while a trajectory of success does hold true in the aspect of persistence, it was incredibly unhealthy for me to expect the promised land at the end. When you’re fixated on just the outcome, you sacrifice every part of your true and authentic being just to reach that pinnacle. You put your wellness, your loves, the people who care about you, and the people who you care about in the dark. And when too many things are hidden in the dark, it will compile. The light always finds a way to crack it open.

So how did I overcome this? I read Atomic Habits by James Clear and actually used the techniques in the book.

These techniques include:

Learning to appreciate and enjoy the process rather than fixating on the results
Change in perspective

Atomic Habits changed my life because it taught me to see habits as a tool for freedom, not a constraint. Because I was force-fed habits I had to do when I was young, it felt like I was performing them with shackles on my hands and feet. I was moving forward, but carrying such a heavy weight because I didn’t want to show up. So now 20 years later, I believe and know that habits give me freedom. Why? Because habits are essentially automated systems, and when these automated are functioning in place, your brain becomes free from having to apply yourself. You just go into auto-mode and do what you need to.

Breathing in the magic of I “get” to, not “have” to. Instead of saying I “have to” practice a habit, I shift that to “I get to” to do that.

Does this resonate with you?

Nevertheless, I found a way out. All through the magic of reading and cultivating ways that work for me now. Systems instead of just fixating on the goal as a matter of fact.

I hope this brought value to you. I see and hear you, especially if you had an upbringing similar to mine. Thank you for being here, and reading this, I appreciate you.

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